So I have written my first letter to him since he has been gone, sprayed it with my perfume and sealed it with a kiss and started is first care package…now I wait for him to get to his main destination so I can get my next year into perspective and our routine started. These first couple of weeks are always hard on all of us, after that it gets a little easier; around month 3 things are in a good groove and stay that away (with some ups and downs) until the sixth month mark and I am about at my wits end…hopefully around then Shane will be able to come home for R&R and we can start all over but know we have made it over the hump of the deployment and start getting ready for him to come home again. Ugg it is so hard to think of how far off all of that is right now.
As of right now I have a lot of anxiety and I am waiting on pins and needles to get those two-minute phone calls that make me sad and so happy at the same time. I actually feel like a whiner during these days, so I try not to impose my sad disposition on others.lol I think this time has been harder due to the kids reactions to Shane leaving; I guess they are getting older and have been through it a couple of times so they know what they have to look forward to. Smarty pants is doing pretty good so far, but he does not realize exactly what is going on, he tried to understand why the rest of us were crying. When Shane went to NTC for about a month this past summer it took Smarty pants a week or so to realize how he felt; one day he just came in my room and burst out crying saying he missed his daddy; it was so sad. My little Drama Queen is taking it hard this time as, the days leading up to him leaving watching her broke his heart. My Artist really tried to hold it all in, but the day he left she was so torn up and did not want to let him go. Katelyn made us cry as well, she thanked Shane for being her dad and always being there for her. Man was that hard. When Shane gets back, Katelyn will have moved away to Lewis with Brett. I am so thankful that with all this change I will have some wonderful friends here to lean on from FCW Fort Campbell Wives and that I will be here for them to lean on me.
I know I have talked about the Trevor Romain Foundation before, but I wanted to share again what a
great service they do for military children and families. Shane went through the kids boxes and watched the video that came in the “comfort kits,” and it was so sweet and sad. Shane had been putting it off because he did not want to cry so they ended up waiting until the night before his last day home. My Drama Queen at that point broke down and told me she did not want to go through it because it would make it to real and she did not want her daddy to go. After a little while she joined in with her dad and brother. The video was great and talked to the kids about the feelings they are going to have while their dad is away and ways to deal with them. It really put it in terms that children can understand.
So I guess we are going to use journals, write letters, say our prayers, Skype, yahoo messenger and all that good stuff to stay in touch this year. It is kind of funny, Katelyn is helping get the best performing ways to chat and web cam with Shane, since she just got done doing all that with Brett while he was over there. It is nice to have the incite and it is even kind of nice to know my daughter understands how I am feeling.
So we move on to the second 24 hours of our third deployment; the kids are older, I love Shane more today then yesterday, our oldest daughter is married and moving away and he is in a different country. We can do this; we do not always have to like it but we will be ok. I will finish up college, get all fired up over issues in the world today,take care of my kids, pray for Shane’s safety as well as all of our military over there and wait for those phone calls and moments online. I am sure Shane will do his job, get some classes done and hopefully look forward to talking with me when he is not doing other things. :o) The kids will keep busy, write letters, journal and keep on being kids; just kids worrying and missing their daddy. Yep, we can do this cause we are an Army family, we adapt and overcome.
- First full day of 2011 over (careknet.wordpress.com)