I am shocked at how long it has been since I have worked outside of the home; about 7 years.When the kids went back to school in August I realized how tired I am of cleaning the house day after day and how frustrated I am getting with news in the world today. My biggest issue this year is that I am not able to go back to school…long story short those last few credits are frustratingly financially out of reach right now. So until I save up some money, I am bored!
I mentioned to Shane my frustrations and the fact that I really did not want to have to work weekends or when he and the kids were home. We are also a one car family right now so that does not help with a job hunt either. But God works in mysterious ways!! Shane mentioned to a friend at work my frustrations, whose wife had just told him of her frustrations of needing to hire someone within the next few weeks or so. Low and behold this job is only three days a week, 9am to 2pm and right on post. So I am happy to say, starting pretty soon I will have something to do other than mop my floors and such everyday.
I am nervous though; I am happy at home. I love to watch the news, research the news and keep my house in order. I am not a real people person, if that makes any sense. But I think that for the past few years I have been a total homebody it is time for me to break out of my comfort zone and get out and mingle with new people. So for that aspect I am excited! As a mom of four kids and some four-legged animals it will be great to get out and talk to adults who can respond back to me. 🙂 I am not sure if all stay at home moms feel this way, but I kind of feel like I have forgotten any other role for me other than wife and mother. I love being both and do not want them to end, but it seems like my entire role or purpose has been those two roles; even as I attended college. In a way taking this job or even just seeking it out I feel like I have let myself down in sense though too, because it is not the job I have been working for all these years. I love what I have been going to school for! I love learning about narco-terrorists, domestic terrorism, foreign terrorism, criminology, foreign policy, government, different countries etc….I love it all. I want to deal within that realm so badly. But I think I have to just step back and realize this job is going to be a stepping stone to help get me back into society; get my head out of the books and into what is happening with other people in my sphere now.
I don’t know…lol I am nervous, excited, really like the person I am going to be working for and excited to venture out into the world. But I am also not going to put my dreams aside; God knows I am not getting any younger! I also believe my kids and Shane will probably appreciate my attempt at re-socialization come Christmas time.